Thursday, October 30, 2003

So I had an incedent today with some chocolate covered almonds. I'd love to say it was totally out of my control, but of course it wasn't. I just have such terrible self-control. I'm pretty good about not buying the things that trigger my food obsession. But when they're right in front of me, I can't help eating. Of course, I bought the almonds, so that theory's kind of shot.

And in yoga tonight I came to an amazing realization...I am scared to push myself, because I'd rather always be mediocre at something than try to be amazing at it and fail.

What an unbelievable waste of my time. If I would just try things, fail, and try again I would be such a better person. I'm sure I would be more interesting and I'd probably like myself a whole lot better. Hell, at least then I'd know that I tried, right?

So here are my goals:

1. Actually work my ass off at it once, twice, or three times a week.
2. Go to the gym more than once every two weeks.
3. Cook some goddamn vegetables instead of letting J coerce me into making meat.
4. Snack on healthy foods instead of peanut butter and cheese.
5. Make it to ballet every week (now that A's going to be going again, it'll be easier).
6. Figure out why my eating/exercising habits are the way that they are and fix them.

Obviously these are all pretty difficult goals, but I think I can do this. No...wait...I KNOW I can do this. It's just a matter of putting in effort.


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