Thursday, November 20, 2003

I wasn't thinking about the upcoming holidays, but then I read someone else's blog and now I'm in a bit of a panic.

This year my parents and J's mom are coming to our house for Thanksgiving, which means that I'm doing all the cooking. This should be great, because it means that I can cut calories left and right, and fill the meal with veggies instead of other things. Except that I can't do that. For me Thanksgiving is about two things: biscuits and gravy. Neither one of these things is healthy. How can you have really good mashed potatoes without using a metric-assload of butter? How can you not make an unbelievable apple pie?

I know that I shouldn't worry too much about how much I'm going to eat. My stomach has been shrinking a lot as of late, so I can't even pack that much in there anymore. And besides, my caloric intake has been hovering between 1000-1200 for like the last week or so. Maybe this will be little enough that I shouldn't have to worry about how much I'm going to eat on Turkey Day?

I don't know. I just feel like my metabolism has to be unbelievably slow. I know it's getting faster, because I can actually feel it. Now instead of feeling full for four hours after I eat, I'm ready to eat again in two hours. It's definitely good, I've turned much more into a 5 small-meals-per-day person. But still...I feel like I'm always working off at least 500 calories per day, I'm only intaking like 1200 max, but I'm not losing enough weight.

J says what I need to do is get better on the weight machines. He says I should stop doing heavy lifting because that's just for bulk-building, which I really don't need (at least not on my legs). He says that what I should be doing is tons of reps on a lighter weight, because that's what tones. Who knew? I'm so uneducated on this stuff that all the littlest tips help! So I guess now my plan is to do exactly that. Too bad though, because I was very excited about my 200 lb. leg press.

Yeah. And now that I've babbled on forever, I think I'm outta here.

One last thing though. I feel like I've made some real progress. Yoga for the last three days in a row. Amazing. And the fact that I'm not going to go today is kinda making me feel shitty, so I might just give in to the desire and do it anyways. I'm sore, but not as sore as I thought I would be. Honestly, I feel amazing. I feel energized and happy and mellow and like I'm really doing this, instead of just saying that I'm going to. Something gave and now I think I'm really on my way.


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