Sunday, November 16, 2003

Sometimes I freak out thinking I'm so fat, lazy, unattractive, undesirable, etc.

But the truth is, I ain't so bad off.

I'm not fat, not even close. About three years ago I weighed 40 pounds more than I do now. So, hopefully, nothing will ever compare to that.

I might be lazy, but I'm really actively working on it. I didn't have enough money to go to yoga this morning, so I did it at home on my living room floor. And besides, I live with the man who invented laziness...I should just remember to keep him in mind when I start freaking out.

Unattractive? Undesirable? Are you kidding? That pimple on my chin is character. Do you hear me? CHARACTER!!! I think the problem comes in that when I feel like crap about myself I am less attractive (which in turn makes me feel worse about myself, which in turn makes me feel less attractive ... you see the pattern).

For me this whole thing is mental. If I could just get over a couple of things then everything would be ok and I know I'd be able to lose the weight I want to lose. So I'll make another list of things to remember...

-I AM NOT MY MOTHER. This does not have to be a life-long battle for me.
-I don't need the food I think I need.
-Just because J is lazy doesn't mean I should be. Wanna go salsa dancing/hiking/rock climbing but he doesn't? Go by your damn self.
-The only way that I'm going to see results is if I stick with something...give it a freakin' chance.
-Truly exerting myself is not going to kill me, even if it feels like it's going to.
-I can breathe. I used to do it very well and, hopefully, I'll be able to do it again.


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home