Friday, March 05, 2004

I don't know what's been going on recently. It's like my weight/fitness goals were the first thing to go in the face of any adversity. That makes me really sad. I haven't gained any weight, but that's through no fault of my own. I've been eating terribly and not exercising anywhere near as much as I should. I went to yoga on Tuesday and here it is Friday and I'm still sore. Good lord, that hasn't happened in a really long time. Because of my former yoga practice I had reached a point where my soreness only ever lasted a day. It was wonderful. And now here I am 3 days later and my ass still kills me every time I walk up the stairs.

It's just hard to get out and do it. I've been finding more and more excuses for not leaving the house when I know I should. My body is taking the depression and difficulty I've been dealing with and deciding that the right thing to do is turn into a hermit. But see, I know that's not the right thing to do. I know that if I got out there and did the things that MADE ME FEEL GOOD then (surprise, surprise) I would feel good. But I don't do it and instead I spend my time sitting around in a lump.

It seems that I just need to start listening to my logical brain instead of my emotional one. I know full well that I would feel better if I worked out and ate better. I just have to do it. I feel like what I really need is someone to drag me out of the house every day for a week until I was back on track and then I could handle it myself. Shit, maybe I just need to be the dragger and the draggee. I need to do this for myself.

And on food news, I made salmon for dinner the other night and didn't want to eat it. The more time that passes the closer I come to being veg. There's nothing I can do about it because I honestly don't have any control, my body is just consistently telling me to stop eating meat. So instead of eating salmon I had broccoli and mashed potatoes for dinner and it was a glorious meal. J was forced to eat a half a pound of salmon all by himself. I'm sure he was totally heartbroken. :)

We've started Dr. Andrew Weil's "8 Weeks to Optimal Health". I personally find it kind of amusing because for the most part, I already do everything that he says. He suggests cutting down coffee and replacing it with tea...I can't remember the last time I had a cup of coffee, but I drink tea every day. He suggests replacing meat meals with soy protein meals...yeah, got that one covered. And my personal favorite, he suggests finding a local grocery store that sells organic produce...Whole Foods is a two minute walk from my house and that's one of the reasons we picked this apartment. It's great. I guess I've been on my way to optimal health without even knowing it. 8 weeks should be a breeze.


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