Monday, November 22, 2004

Well alrighty then. Today is the day when my running increases to 3 minutes. It goes 90 second run, 90 second walk, 3 minute run, 3 minute walk ... repeated twice. I'm half nervous and half excited. The person who I used to be would have just not gone to the gym today and instead sat around the house feeling bad about not going but also unable to avoid dreading the effort it would take to run for 3 minutes. No longer.

Which reminds me. I was reading Chris' blog the other day and I couldn't help feeling a bit embarassed. See, I think that I've been one of those people for a very long time ... a kind of person who only puts out the absolutely necessary effort and leaves the rest up to fate. I've always been more interested in taking the short route than the long route, more interested in being lazy than being hardworking, more interested in complaining about it than actually acting. And this is something about myself that I really want to change. I don't want to just bitch about the fact that I want to lose another 15 pounds and don't seem to be able to. Well duh, of course I'm not losing it, I'm still sitting around and eating a metric assload of chocolate every day! I don't want to go to the gym and only do the things that I know how to do. Instead I want to go and try out something new every day until I've got the entire place mastered. I don't want to avoid going to the gym just because I know it's going to be a hard day for me today. I want to go and revel in the effort it takes. I mean shit, this journey isn't about ease, is it? It's about learning to love every second of all the hard work it takes. It's about making your body into something completely different. It's about being better.

Shape magazine, to which I subscribe, has these little cardboard exercise cards that come in every edition. I always save them and then don't do anything with them. I think I'm going to put them in my gym bag and actually start using them. Seems like a waste otherwise ... I'm sure there are good exercises on there which would be great for me. And who cares if my time at the gym is drastically increased? If I've got the time, why not spend 3 hours a day there, right?

I need to find a way to get a personal trainer. A friend of mine joined a gym recently which gave her a free three session personal training package. So much more useful than my one session which was a total freakin' bust. I just feel like having a personal trainer would drive me in the right directions. I would be able to learn new things and have someone explain to me the right ways to do things so that I don't hurt myself. For instance, I've been thinking that I really want to get into free-weights, but I don't know how to do any of it and it's SO easy to hurt yourself. Hmmm ... maybe I'll just wait until I get to the MIT gym. I think it's significantly cheaper there.

I also wanted to say thank you to all of you for your wonderful support. It's nice knowing that there are people out there who understand why the situation was so difficult for me. Being nonconfrontational pretty much sucks. Yet another thing for me to work on. All this work I have to do is completely exhausting.

And here's my exercise info for the weekend:

-Sat: no running, no gym. 30-40 minutes skating.

-Sun: 30 minutes on treadmill, 30 minutes on weights, 10 minutes stretching.

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