Wednesday, May 12, 2004

I had, last night, what was quite possibly the best yoga practice of my life. You wanna know why? I think it's because of the weight lifting, honestly. I am stronger than I used to be and I can actually feel it. My legs still protest when holding warrior poses for a long time, but my arms no longer mind all the high to low pushups. I could actually feel the changes occurring in my body. And all this on a day when I had done my weight-lifting and was already sore. Fantastic!

Also, had the pleasure of spending some time talking to A about her body issues. I remember so well what it was like for me in high school, dealing with my own body issues. At 100 lbs I still looked in the mirror and all I saw was lumps everywhere. I remember describing to someone what my body looked like to me in the mirror and having them tell me I was nuts. I guess to me being thin enough has always meant that your thighs don't touch when you walk. And even at 100 lbs my thighs still touched when I walked. A says it's because I have small hips and that's just to be expected. But see, I always thought that for my frame I actually have "child-bearing" hips. So why did they still touch? Will they always? Is there anything I can do?

Because that really would be it for me. If I could get myself to a place where my thighs don't touch, where I don't have to worry about wearing a skirt on really hot days (because my sweaty thighs rub together so much that I end up with a rash), then I could be satisfied. Will it ever happen?


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