Thursday, May 13, 2004

I weighed myself this morning. I know, I know, I'm not supposed to. But I was curious and curiosity killed the Margaret. I was at 130.5, which is actually significantly lower than it was the last time I weighed myself. Well, not significantly... but maybe like 3 pounds, which is pretty damn good.

I think the best sign I've had recently that what I'm doing is working is that I've got cheekbones again! I had forgotten that I've got great bone structure because my fat just takes on fat so easily. But here are my beautiful cheekbones once again jutting out of my face. For me, this is about as cool as it gets.

And last night I went to yoga again with J, to the beginner's class. The teacher for Wednesdays is really a very good beginner's teacher. She takes everything slowly, spends a lot of time with the class stopped, explaining what's going on, etc. She's definitely the best teacher they've got for beginners, although not for anyone above the beginner's level. And man, oh, man... I hadn't really realized how far my practice has come until last night. Her class was SOOOO easy. I didn't have a hard time with anything that we did... it all comes so naturally now! What a fantastic feeling.

Talking to A the other night definitely made me think a lot about what I'm doing. She said, "As someone who's already fucked up, take some advice from me and stop thinking about the number NOW before it's too late." So now I really have to concentrate on what my body can do instead of what the number is. It's hard. You do get tied to the idea of being a certain weight, and it's difficult to let that go. I would still like to be 115, but even more than that I'd like to be strong enough that I can do all the things I want to do without it ever troubling me. In the choice between strong and thin... I'm going with strong.

Oh, and I finally figured out how to include comments in this blog. So if anybody has anything they'd like to comment on, please feel free. I'm sure I'd appreciate whatever you want to tell me. And thanks for reading.


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