Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Day 2 ...

... SUCKED!

Had a big fight with J and instead of reassuring myself with junk food, like I normally do, I just didn't eat. Bad, bad, bad. I can't remind myself of how much I like starving. Especially right now, when it would be so easy to do. It's funny how I take comfort from food both in eating it and in restraining from it. They are almost equal in their "seeking love from food" factor. No wonder my relationship with eating is so royally fucked.

Ok, back to day two.

Breakfast: Steel-cut oatmeal with raisins and unsweetened strawberry jam (yum).
Lunch: Didn't eat it.
Mid-afternoon snack: More oatmeal, an apple.
Dinner: Big bowl of Kashi with blueberries and ricemilk.

Water: 64 oz, 2 cups of tea, and all the water I drink with the herbs (probably another 20 oz).
Sleep: Asleep at 10 (an absolute miracle) for a whole 7.5 hours of sleep.
Exercise: 20 minutes walking. Unfortunately, that's it.

See what I mean ... a really bad food day.

Chris, I do mostly agree with you that there's no point in doing something if it sucks so much that you don't want to do it. I totally agree that what that leads to is total and utter failure. But this is actually something that I want to do, especially because it's only for two weeks. I know that if I had to eat like this for the rest of my life, I'd probably rather shoot myself. But for two weeks, to try to detox my body, I can handle it. And if I complain, it's only because I feel comfortable enough here to do so.

2 Comments:

Blogger Mia Goddess said...

You know, most *diets* aren't sustainable in the long run, but you get the short term benefits of losing weight. You deal with the "long run" when it comes. In my experience, you have to make regular adjustments to *any* plan to make them workable for any decent period of time.

Personally, I admire your commitment to doing something. That's the hardest step to take.

My second favorite thing to do, in the whole wide world? Skip meals to show my husband what a jerk he is. It comes in right after "skipping workouts to show my husband what a jerk he is". Yep, nothing wrong with us!!
xoxo
Mia

9:31 AM  
Blogger Chris said...

Thanks for your thoughts and ideas on this. I never see "complaining." I just see people pushing against the challenges they set out for themselves. I think your blog is a perfect place to put whatever you're feeling out there, to look at it in print, to see its shape.

Just very interesting to view.

10:54 AM  

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